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Archiwum miesiąca Czerwiec 2009

Checklist for evaluating maturity

The difficulties of coping with alcoholism in another are much more effectively met when we ourselves reflect attitudes of mature adults.

A mature adult is one who:

 

1.    Does not automatically resent criticism, realizing that it may contain a suggestion for self-improvement.

 

2.    Knows that self-pity is futile and childish–a way of placing the blame for disappointments on others.

 

3.    Does not readily experience a loss of temper or „fly off the handle” about trifles.

 

4.    Keeps calm in emergencies and deals with them in a logical, reasonable fashion.

 

5.    Accepts responsibility without blaming others when things go …

Detachment

Alcoholism is a family disease. Living with someone who has the disease is too devastating for most people to bear without help. Detatchment, a recovery tool for the family in Al-Anon, has helped members to help themselves. In Al-Anon, family members learn that individuals are not responsible for another person’s disease or recovery from it. They let go of their obsessions with another’s behavior and begin to lead happier and more manageable lives, lives with dignity and rights; lives guided by the Power greater than themselves.

IN AL-ANON A PERSON LEARNS:

Not to suffer because of the actions or reactions of other …

Just for today

Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

Just for today I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that „Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

Just for today I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires, I will take my „luck” as it comes, …

Adult Children’s Bill of Rights

You Have A Right To:

Put yourself first.
Make mistakes.
Accept all your feelings as valid.
Your opinions and convictions.
Change your mind or behavior.
Protest unfair treatment.
Negotiate for change.
Express yourself.
Ask for help or emotional support.
Ignore advice.
Say „No”
Be alone, even if others prefer your company.
Not take responsibility for another’s problem

It Is Not Your Responsibility To:

Give what you can’t or don’t wish to give.
Sacrifice your integrity to any cause or person.
Drain yourself in caring for others.
Put up with unfair treatment.
Conform to unreasonable demands.
Be perfect.
Follow the crowd.
Feel guilty …

Styles of distorted thinking

Filtering: You take the negative details and magnify them while filtering out all positive aspects of the situation.
Polarized Thinking: Things are black or white, good or bad. You have to be perfect or you are a failure. There is no middle ground.
Over Generalization: You come to a general conclusion based on a single incident or other piece of evidence. If something bad happens once, you expect it to happen over and over again.
Mind Reading: Without their saying so, you know what people are feeling and why they act the way they do. In particular, you are able …


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