bluecarmen blog

Twój nowy blog

day three

woke at 12 feeling shit  left for bank at 3 went there, found huge mess, cleaned the mess went to see e, went to park, watched ducks went to meeting, struggled to connect, felt shit went back, watched lost p got happy drunk, lost his keys, found his keys, gave me a right scare, it’s 3am

day two afternoon

p woke me up about 10 and went out. ate oat meal, watched 6 episodes of lost. called mum, talked to o about stuff – hes starting new job back there. says he wants to see whats gonna happen. mum says i should go ack to live ith p. i didnt say nothin about pills. got disconnected. didnt call back. got some food, watched more lost, wanted to walk dog ut its raining. got a call from unknown number – didnt answer it twice. calledback after 5 -it was s about cat food. she sounded tipsy. told her will get some ...

day first evening

went to bed but wouldnt fall asleep. watched some more lost (one but last episode of series 5). went to walk the dog. he didnt wanna play and was very naughty (again) – apparently i spoiled him and he no longer listens. came home, feeling a bit shaky physically and still sleepy as if before rain (weather’s good; rather mild not hot, but it was a brief hail storm in the afternoon).it’s 9.30pm

day first

went to GP in the morning. cried. took the test. she gave me prescription for citalopram 20mg and told me to take half tablet for four days. told me to make appointment within next 2 weeks. left, made appointment, went to town to get the pills at boots. went to ask aout my job. went home. watched an episode of lost. took half a pill about 2:30pm or later. felt different for a minute (placebo effect lol). watched some more lost. got something to eat. started feeling sleepy. it’s just before 6pm. started feeling panicked and thinking about my problems ...

Ageh ye rooz

If one day you leave me out of the blue and go away on a trip leaving me alone once again I’ll tell the night to stay with me I’ll tell the wind to sing until dawn a song from my beloved’s land why are you leaving me alone? If you forget me and leave my embrace I’ll become a sea bird released in the grip of the waves I’ll hush my heart to silence I’ll urge the wind to sing until dawn a song from my beloved’s land where I won’t be left alone If one day your name rings in my ear again If one day your name captures me again I’ll urge my heart not to ...

x

It is highly improbable that you are incapable of orgasm, but it is something you have to learn for yourself. Anthing from sexual repression to inadequate lubrication can prevent orgasm, but once you learn, it becomes easier over time. You need to practice and learn what pleases you. Once you have learnt this you can show your partner. Be supportive and encouraging, and offer occassional gentle constructive criticism. Don’t focus on having an orgasm, this may actually get in the way of having them. Instead focus on the pleasurable sensations and intimacy of the act. Take your time and enjoy ...

Choking on the dust

I don’t know what I’ve been told Parents love is awful cold Instead of nurture, they just scold I’d like to find a way to break away I’d like to find a way to break away Life is a stage, in which we all play the world is a symphony of sarcastic lust I’d like to be a part of the global game, But im left behind, chokin on the dust Chokin on the dust…

Let me sign

Standing there by the broken tree, Her hands were all twisted, she was pointing at me. I was damned by the light coming out of her eyes. She spoke with a voice that disrupted the sky. She said ‚Walk on over yeah to the bit of shade, I will wrap you in my arms and you’ll know you’ve been saved’ Let me sign, let me sign, can’t fight the devil so just let me sign. I was out for a drink in a soho bar The air was smoked out liked a cheap cigar She rose out of her seat ...

Johnny Cash – Hurt

I hurt myself today To see if I still feel I focus on the pain The only thing that’s real The needle tears a hold The old familiar sting Try to kill it all away But I remember everything What have I become My sweetest friend Everyone I know goes away In the end And you could have it all My empire of dirt I will let you down I will make you hurt I wear this crown of thorns Upon my liar’s chair Full of broken thoughts I cannot repair Beneath the stains of time The feelings disappear You are someone else I am still right here What have I become My sweetest friend Everyone I know goes away In the end And you could have it ...

Michael Jackson – Billie Jean

She was more like a beauty queen from a movie scene I said dont mind, but what do you mean I am the one Who will dance on the floor in the round She said I am the one who will dance on the floor in the round She told me her name was billie jean, as she caused a scene Then every head turned with eyes that dreamed of being the one Who will dance on the floor in the round People always told me be careful of what you do And dont go around breaking young girls hearts And mother always told me be careful of who ...

  • RSS